How to Battle a Dragon

Dragons are real. Characteristics of dragons:

  1. We rarely notice them until they awaken.
  2. They rarely take notice of the world around them until they see a threat to their hoard.
  3. Because they sit and brood, they believe themselves to be cunning.
  4. They will defend their treasure, violently.

You usually don’t realize how close you are to poking a dragon until it’s too late. That’s the price of exploring uncharted territory: you risk finding someone who is happy with things just as they are. Someone who’s already sitting atop a pile of gold.

What to do when you realize that you’ve poked a dragon:


Dragons use their size to intimidate you. When you’re afraid, you don’t think clearly. Do not be afraid.


Dragons have motives. Until you can see the situation through the dragon’s eyes, you won’t be able to plan your next move.


A dragon’s threats belie it’s strategy. Let the dragon talk long enough, and you’ll be able to predict its every move. (Side note, dragon’s love to hear themselves talk.)

Ask. Is taking the treasure worth getting scorched?

  1. If not, you must apologize and leave a sacrifice – usually some of your pride.
  2. If so, keep your cool. When the dragon discovers that you’re not afraid, and that you aren’t backing down, it will try to anger you and trick you into making a mistake.

Most importantly: No one has defeated a dragon through might. Your only chance is to turn the dragon’s size and strength against it. You’ll need only a tiny blow to topple the giant beast, but you’ve got to find the soft spot first.

Feeling ready to do Battle?

Not so fast.

You may have overlooked the most important characteristic of dragons:

Being a dragon is a lonely business.

Before you race off to slay, consider making friends. It’s far kinder, and dragons make fierce allies. Just ask Pete, Puff, and Daenerys.

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